101 WAYS TO AVOID DOING THE TGOC

OK today, just 3

Fortunately none of them fatal, as far as I am aware YET.


Incident 1


This occured earlier today, when I was putting stuff into the loft.
Dangerous places lofts, BUT not as dangerous as the ladder to the loft.


Dangerous things ladders.
As is carrying too much up them.
In this case a great big box of Harriet's swimming cups and trophies.


All was going well, until my left foot slipped through the rung and pitched me forward.
At this point much of my weight was on my left shin, which was being pushed into the rung from the front, whilst my foot was being pulled back through the rung below.


Result, BLOODY great gash on left shin, (and that is not a metaphor),
abnormal pressure applied to tibia, and enormous bruise, requiring application of bandages and much ice.
Luckily, this remedial action appears to have made quite a difference and walking, nay, even running is ok now.


BUT... for a moment there, I was thinking $HIT.


Incident 2


So, by early evening, the shin was feeling ok, and I decided, that the DOG could go out after all.
So we headed off the Fulbourn Fen nature reserve for a meander.
It was to say the least damned wet and muddy.


Bored with the normal route, we (meaning me) decided to go round a not official path, to see if we could find a way back into the nature reserve.


All was going swimmingly well (we'll come back to that pun), when I did an enormous slide on a very muddy bit of the track (this was running), my legs flew away from me, and I plunged on my backside, and left side into a rather large and deep muddy puddle.


That was whole left leg, arm, waist, shoulder and arse, at high speed.


It was quite deep, and very very muddy.


Another survival story, but nearly a Challenge calamity.




Incident 3 


FUCKING RABBITS!


Now, to some people, they are cute furry frolicking little creatures.
Lovely little story book bunnies, with floppy ears.
Watership Down, Br'er Rabbit, etc


No, these are vermin.
Hole digging, crop destroying, abundant, eating and digging machines.


More importantly, they dig frigging holes that get covered by grass.
The sort you could stick your LEFT foot into easily when running.
The sort that could turn your ankle over.
(Why always the bloody left side? )


As I write this, with an ice pack on my shin, and another one on my LEFT Foot, I would happily shoot the furry little buggers. 


Repeatedly.


It was actually the top of the foot rather than the ankle.
The bit that hurts.


So, the foot bones connected to the ankle bone.
The ankle bone is connected to the Shin bone.
The shin bones connected to the ................


I am going to stop going out before it gets worse.


The foot appears ok for now, as do the other bits.


BUT, I have to leave in under 48 hours to head to Morar.


I might stay inside until then.


It appears to be bloody dangerous outside.
And inside for that matter.
I'll just sit down until Wednesday evening then.










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Another by Porcupine Tree (Kneel and Discontent)